


we live a dying dream

by aetherae



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), being able to poach all the kids seems kinda messed up: the fic, this isn't even drama it's just navel gazing introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aetherae/pseuds/aetherae
Summary: It is their duty to lead well, no matter that they lead an empty house.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth & Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	1. i tried to talk with god to no avail

**Author's Note:**

> "yet another wip? really??" look i sweAR this one will be done in a timely manner!! it's already more than halfway done!!!! IF IT'S NOT DONE BY THE END OF THE YEAR I'M GONNA LOSE IT.
> 
> but anyways this has probably been done or explored already but going through a golden deer lp where the lper did a full recruit run just made me wonder what it's actually like for the house leader to see their entire house poached LMFAO LIKE.... THAT HAS TO SUCK MAN! (or at least the important non-npc house members, you get what i'm saying.) so here's just a dump of introspection about it. i hope you enjoy!
> 
> (title and chapter titles taken from 'falling down' by oasis)

**edelgard—**

Truthfully, she didn’t think much of it at first.

It only seemed natural for Caspar to switch houses to the professor’s—with his interest in their strength along with nothing inherit back home, there truly wasn’t much reason for him to remain with the Black Eagles. Linhardt following suit made sense as well, the two of them as close as ever. She suspects he also thinks Byleth might be more likely to let him indulge in napping as well, and she wonders how much of a rude awakening he’s in for every class. After all her own failed attempts at helping Linhardt stay awake during lectures, she wants to see it.

The months pass, and one by one, more students of her house leave to join the professor’s. Bernadetta, Petra, Dorothea. With so many students from the empire at the Officers Academy, it hardly feels like much of a loss when the class remains so large. It isn’t until Ferdinand announces his intention to switch houses as well that she realizes—and sighs in relief at the idea she’ll no longer have to put up with his incessant challenges daily anymore—just how many students left.

Strange, that they’re all classmates she called friends. Perhaps that’s her own fault, that the rest of her classmates are near strangers to her, but she simply doesn’t have the time to make friends with them all. That’s never been part of the plan, no matter how much she enjoys her time as a student.

Privately, she can admit that she envies them. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Professor Manuela’s teaching. After all, it’s hard for Edelgard to find complaint when her enrollment at the Officers Academy is simply a means to an end. Even so, everyone under the professor’s tutelage seems to flourish. Without being in their house, there’s precious little chance to spend time in Byleth’s company outside of meals in the dining hall or sparring in the training hall. She’s never been one for fishing, but if she could afford it, she’d gladly join the professor fishing for a few hours just to have some time together.

But she can’t. Edelgard watches from the Black Eagles classroom as Ferdinand and the others head towards the professor’s instead, thinking that her time is a student is almost up altogether.

“It’s a shame that the professor chose not to lead the Black Eagles, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps,” Hubert concedes, but she can sense his rebuttal before he even continues. “From what I’ve observed however, I think it best that they chose another house. The professor seems an unpredictable individual at best. Having such a wild card lead students of the empire might not have been prudent.”

More like he finds Byleth untrustworthy. Of course, there’s plenty of truth to his words. Even nearly a year later, the mercenary-turned-professor can be impossible to read. Besides, it may be truly better for them all in the end. She’s been prepared to start her revolution alone for a long time now, and while she won’t—can’t afford to—hesitate to cut any of them down on the battlefield, she thinks it better that they have less chance of being dragged into it regardless. Like this, she doesn’t have to force them to make a choice.

“Fair enough, although I believe you underestimate them, Hubert. That unpredictability would have served us well.”

The other students come in soon after, Professor Manuela starting her lecture, but Edelgard allows herself to daydream. What it would be like for her friends to be here with her, for Byleth to be standing at the head of the classroom instead, instructing and guiding her. It would be nice, she thinks. How lovely it would be, to be able to call the professor her teacher.

But before long, she shakes her head, focusing on class as best she can. She hasn’t the time or luxury to indulge in what-ifs. In the end, things are better this way—they have to be.


	2. catch the wheel that breaks the butterfly

**claude—**

He can’t say he’s surprised by any of it.

If he’s learned anything since coming to Fódlan, it’s that people of the Alliance tend to be a self-serving bunch; it’s why he fits in well enough among them. Naturally, some of the Golden Deer’s goals are more selfless than others—Ignatz wanting to become a knight based on his parents’ wishes is admirable, if a bit misguided, meanwhile Hilda seems to be here for the sole purpose of escaping her brother—but in the end, they’re all here for their own needs. That’s perfectly fine in his book, especially when he’s just the same, but there’s something a little funny in how Teach seems to fit those needs so perfectly.

Lorenz jumping ship takes longer than he expected honestly. Professor Hanneman might be a fine instructor, but every soul in the monastery is more than a little infatuated with Byleth and their teaching. If he was eager to prove himself better than everyone else like Lorenz is, he’d switch houses too. Lysithea leaves the Golden Deer around the same time, no doubt fascinated by how the professor claims to have no previous experience with magic of any kind but picks it up so easily, naturally. Again, he’d do the same in her shoes.

Not every student’s eager to join Teach’s house, but it seems like all the ones he knows are. Ignatz, Raphael, Marianne, even Leonie. He thought Leonie might hold out just to better compete against Byleth as Jeralt’s number one apprentice. At the end of the day though, who better to learn more about the Blade Breaker than from his own kid, right? Teach simply suits their needs better, but he thinks there’s more to it than that. They have a way of getting others to open up to them, trust them, in a way he never could.

Funny, given how similar he thinks they are. Oh, the occasional student might mention how unnerving their expressionless gaze can be, or one of the knights will say how odd it is for Lady Rhea to trust a stranger with so much responsibility, but never with anything more condemning than a bemused smile. With no knowledge of the church or crests or anything related, the former mercenary is as much an outsider as he is, yet while his class dwindles down, Teach’s only continues to swell in size.

It’s not lonely, he tells himself. They might like each other all well enough, maybe even be friends if he’s being generous, but he gets it. One way or another, they have to look out for themselves and what they want. Byleth just happens to be good at providing that. Hell, he’d do the same if he could.

And wouldn’t that be a kick, the leader of the Golden Deer House switching himself? Still, while Claude might be in Fódlan to break down walls in a way few people have scarce imagined, it’s a long, long game he’s playing. Stirring up a scandal in the Officers Academy hardly seems like the way to make waves.

Besides, being here does that enough on its own. The more students leave, the louder certain conversations seem to get. No matter how low they might try to keep their voices, it’s easy to pick it out after hearing it all his life—how he’s the strange one, unfitting, an outsider no matter what he insists.

No, that’s not surprising at all. What’s surprising is _Hilda_ of all people leaving.

“What can I say?” she says over their meal, her last day as a Golden Deer student. “There’s just something about the professor… I mean, they even make _me_ want to try a little harder. If that’s not amazing, I dunno what is.”

He laughs, smiles as easily as ever, but even he think it’s more half-hearted than usual. “You got me there. Teach must already be a good influence on you.”

“I guess so. Here’s hoping they don’t make me work _too_ much though, y’know?”

It’s easy conversation after that. Once she’s done eating, he figures Hilda will be off elsewhere, maybe heading into town out of boredom or finding someone to cajole into doing her chores for her, just the same as always. Her switching classes doesn’t change any of that. None of that changes anything with his former classmates. With how enclosed Garreg Mach is, it’s not as if he doesn’t see them at all anymore. Still, it’s different. The distance between them only grows farther.

But again, Hilda manages to surprise him. Even with her meal polished off and plate pushed to the side, she remains seated in front of him, arms on the table as she rests her head delicately upon her folded hands.

“Not that it’s any of my business or anything,” she starts, head canting just slightly, “but are you gonna be alright on your own in class? It’s not as if you really know anyone else, right?”

For a moment, he could almost think she’s worried about him. Almost. “You wound me, Hilda! I may not be the social butterfly you are, but what kind of house leader would I be if I didn’t know all my classmates?”

Classmates who’d sooner whisper behind his back than spare him the time of day, but it’s nothing he’s not used to. Claude’s spent his whole life just the same, rejected and alienated for being who he is and nothing more. Whether in Almyra or Fódlan, it’s all the same. At the end of the day, he can only rely on himself and the stars. And he’s been perfectly alright that way, hasn’t he?

He’ll be fine on his own. He always is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a sneaking suspicion this will remain the largest of the chapters, but to be fair, claude is the only lord who can lose his ENTIRE class, so there's plenty to say there, right...... or tl;dr as my own notes so helpfully summarize:
> 
> Hilda being like “nothing personal claude but the professor’s just so cool! u sure you’ll be okay tho” and claude’s just “[thinks about how constantly he has to put up w/ being alienated both in almyra and here at the academy] yeah I’ll be fine 🙂”


	3. a dying scream, it makes no sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT, I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO DO IT!!!!! right in the nick of time, phew.... if you're actually reading this, happy new year!! thank you to 2019 for giving us fe3h, and here's to even more of it in 2020!

**dimitri—**

It’s a strange feeling, watching his friends leave.

Perhaps it’s merely an excuse to tell himself, but in some ways, he thinks it inevitable. As much as he enjoys his time here as a student and the friends he makes along the way, Dimitri has long since been aware that his goals leave little room for long-lasting friendships. Even the easy promises he makes of seeing someone later or meeting up again ring hollow when the dead cry for vengeance every night. No, he has no future to promise until he finds the culprits responsible, until he severs their heads and finally allows the dead their due rest. It would be more prudent to spend little time on friendship, he knows.

Still, it stings. Felix is all too eager to switch houses to the professor’s, although whether it’s to learn under their sword or specifically to get away from him, he can’t tell. Sylvain follows not too long after, as does Ingrid, his childhood friends trailing after another the way they’ve always done—only this time, he can’t follow along as well. How strange, after all their time spent together, that their future now lies separate from his own. He wonders if this is how it feels to be left behind.

Not that he has any right to feel such things. His choice to take the path of vengeance is his and his alone. If he’s been left behind, it’s only because he chose to stay behind in the first place.

As time goes on, the few students he would call friends leave as well—Mercedes, Annette, even Ashe. He tells himself it hurts less, his history with them not as long or deep or fraught. Even so, when they inform him of their departure, a regretful smile in place but a smile all the same, he can only wish them well while remaining all too aware that he now leads a house of near strangers. Save for Dedue, he can only recall the names of a handful of his remaining classmates.

But neither can he begrudge any of his former classmates. Byleth may have been awe-inspiring as a mercenary on the battlefield, but as a professor, they’re even more so. He’s heard nothing but praise for the new professor, and he’s yet to see anything that makes them undeserving of it. Their smiles alone, sparse as they might be, are downright breathtaking. It’s a wonder the students aren’t tripping at their feet to join their class.

“You know, you’re free to switch houses if you so choose,” he tells Dedue one early morning, both of them seated in the Blue Lions classroom. Even from inside, he can hear the chatter of all the students heading to the professor’s class. Some days, he pretends his voice among them. “It would be easier to care for the greenhouse plants if you were in the professor’s class, don’t you think?”

His friend shakes his head, ever the vassal no matter how much Dimitri wishes otherwise. “My place is with you, Your Highness. Wherever you are is where I shall remain.”

An unsurprising answer, but disappointing all the same. He can’t imagine anyone not doing well under Byleth’s tutelage, but he can’t help but suspect that Dedue would truly flourish if he was, opening up to his fellow students and bonding despite his Duscur heritage. Even now, Dimitri hopes for it, as futile as a hope it seems.

“… It would be nice though, if we could switch houses as well. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Dedue turns to look outside their classroom, and Dimitri follows suit. Truthfully, he’s thought on it more times than he can count. While there’s little to complain about his class as is, he wishes he could transfer to Byleth’s all the same. Part of him simply wants to be among his friends, but he wonders how he might flourish under the professor’s tutelage, too. Would they treat him the same as all their students despite his status? Would they understand the darkness that lurks within him?

“… Yes, it would be,” is all he can say as he turns back to his desk and books. Class will start soon enough.

There’s no doubt he would learn much from the professor, but his path remains a separate one. Whatever they might have taught him—he supposes he’ll never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another incredible tl;dr thanks to my notes:
> 
> telling dedue “just saying but u could switch man” and ofc dedue’s “MY PLACE IS W/ YOUR HIGHNESS … but it’d be nice if we could be in the professor’s class huh” and dimitri’s just “u_u yeah…”


End file.
